The way my mornings go in winter.
Little Dog #1 AKA Jeffrey AKA Mr. J: My toes are cold. Can I sit on your lap while you eat breakfast? I promise not to lick your toast.
adorable, right? But I am a cruel person and say “No!” and “Go lie down in the giant dog bed I bought you, you spoiled thing you!” And I pet his fuzzy head.
Then Little-but-not-quite-as-little Dog #2 AKA Ursula, AKA U AKA Ursabear says: What about me? I will sit on your lap and help you with your breakfast, see how useful I am?
But my heart is made of flint. I refuse! I pet her little head and say, “No, now go eat your breakfast, you still have kibble left.”
Then comes Remy, AKA Cat #3, AKA Noodleshark, AKA psychokitten and he says: SUCKERS, you ASKED!